Is that even a question!
Yet, I find myself coming round to this question time and again. What do I write about? Should I even bother? Is this necessary? Does it portray all my honest thoughts? Who am I doing this for?
The best advice (okay, one of the best – because I keep hearing and reading well-sounding words) I’ve got so far is to know your why! Because your why centers you, anchors you against all the uncertainty you are most likely going to face in life.
I almost always knew I wanted to write; started when we got a huge desktop at home, when I was six and announced I was going to write a book (still working on that by the way). Fanned even more when the teachers loved my writing and saw some potential. Went through enough doubts (that I still sit with sometimes even today) and asked myself a bunch of questions during my early teen years. I guess everyone goes on their own self- searching journey around that time. The journals from that time are littered with statements like ‘Who am I?’ on one page and ‘I am a writer’ on another. Repeated over and over as the war within to affirm my identity raged.
Then it was silenced…somehow, a little, for a time, when I watched Chariots of Fire when I was 14.
My first clear memory of this movie (because my father claimed we had watched it before) was in high school, flagged by so many other girls who were watching, probably just for the sake of entertainment that was almost hard to come by in the boarding school. Maybe they got as much from it as I did.
But I sat crowded but alone, feeling as though I deeply understood the main character. Whatever he said about running, I could easily relate to my writing. Like when Eric says ‘God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.’ I felt that statement so strongly and also envied him his conviction of what he was on earth to do. I left the movie with a buzz, sure that I couldn’t run away from the desire to write and hoping that perhaps God would take pleasure in my writing.
Is that my why?! That I can write and so I do? Could it be that simple?
Well, that is a bit of my origin story (🤭). I would like to know yours to, how you knew that your passion was your passion, your drive, your pleasure. Feel free to share in the comments.