Let’s start this off with a game of Would you rather?
Would you rather die with fulfilled potential or die with a pot of gold? Pots if you would rather😉.
Depending on what my account balance says, I can teeter between the two as well. And don’t get me wrong, you can have both. Why shouldn’t purpose be followed up with all the money and why shouldn’t money ease the realisation of purpose. Whichever you get first, they can totally blend in.
But I wonder, is this the question that propels career shifts? Where the scales have been weighed and priorities laid through experience.
I know I had my own doubts when I decided I wanted to focus on my writing more than the law degree. (For now. Who knows what the future holds.) There were two arguments against this move – that there is not as much money in such fields as the traditional courses (you probably know the ones and I’ll get to this in a later post this week) and that I would feel out of place in a room of people with seemingly more stable jobs. People who could accompany what they do with a title and merge it permanently to their names.
There is that space between the dream and its manifestation. Its probably called frustration. And some days it feels like I am still there. Waking up and wondering how to best shut off this desire to stand apart, to go after something that seems unattainable. Isn’t it easier to do what everyone else has done? There you already have the road map, you are not being blindsided by detours and dead-ends. Or nursing a thousand doubts with every step.
It’s true I didn’t enjoy the legal setting of it all (though you may not tell that from the legal dramas and novels I always gravitate too). I mean I can see the purpose of the law and how hard it strives for justice when it’s not busy being blind and rigid. But you get to know that there are somethings you can enjoy from a distance without muddying your hands…or head…or heart…
One of the conversations I remember most in that time of uncertainty, especially with sticking my foot out into the writing world was with my cousin on working for purpose.
He knew a place I could go to and make real quick money. It was nothing I was interested in but heck, money is money and doesn’t know much about your personal interests. I told him I would rather (see the running theme here) keep trying to find something I could contribute positively to. Something that aligned with my ambitions and the dreams that keep me awake at night.
It didn’t make sense then. Sometimes it barely makes sense now. Honestly, does purpose feed you and get you the new heels you’ve been eyeing?!
But I had context. I had just come out of a degree that seemed to have taken more from me than it added and I wasn’t ready to jump into something else like that with my eyes wide open.
And honestly aren’t we all just looking for purpose! (And I know we all do that in our own ways).
To know that what we are doing means something deeply to us and would contribute greatly to our desired field.
To believe that we are not holding space somewhere till something better or someone better comes along but we look forward to daily work because we see ourselves in it. Because it adds meaning to out existence and we add to its…whatever. Where we are happy to be alive and every day is the stuff of dreams we can talk about till the cows come home.
To go to sleep with a deep sense of accomplishment. Not simply going through the rat race.
To look back and know that you went boldly in the direction of your dreams, to trust that the passions of your heart are not simply misplaced thoughts that took a stop on their way to someone who could give them justice.
I hope whatever it is your hands find to do (legal and ethical😏), you do it with the conviction that it is what you are meant to do in that moment of time.
Today kicks off the start of Afrobloggers WinterABC2021 Challenge – 22 days of daily blogging😪. Type in the hash tag and read several unique thoughts on the subject. See you tomorrow. Hopefully.