On Friendship Breakups

Through out most of last week, I kept thinking about friends…and how we go our separate ways even though that’s not how we ever saw things playing out. Sort of allowing people to grow and accepting that sometimes that growth will not include you.

While I was thinking of my own role in friendship breakups, a number of posts on the subject surfaced in the Afrobloggers WhatsApp group. I am sharing one of those and linking back to Eunice’s blog so that you finish it off there.

As you read you may think through some of your own friendship breakups. Let me know in the comments what more you could add in the letter to a friend you parted ways with.

So here goes, A Letter to the friend I’ve lost along the way

(Selena Gomez’s new song called People you know is my favorite right now. And it spoke to me in so many ways. How people can go from people you know to people you don’t…

I just want to say that this has happened to me, some I don’t know and some don’t know me anymore, because i have changed as well. And so i am writing this letter to the friends/people i used to know and don’t anymore, it doesn’t matter who changed, me or them.)

When we met, I knew we would be friends. I have that gift.

Of looking at people and knowing what we will be, weird i know.

I feel like we had a good time, I enjoyed us, am not gonna lie, you were a good friend.

Now head on over to her blog to finish the letter😊😊

7 thoughts on “On Friendship Breakups

  1. We outgrow people when we outgrow a version of ourselves. The sooner we learn to accept this the more bearable it is when it comes to break ups. People are not meant to stay in our lives forever because we each have a story line to finish. It’s life and we need to embrace it. I’ve fallen out with some close friends that at times I fear having any close friend like a best friend because I believe each person serves a different purpose in your life. But hey we love and we learn.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We love and we learn!!! That’s so true. And I agree about outgrowing spaces and people and different things. There’s a season to everything under heaven.
      But much as we might know this, we still hope to have them stay around for forever. I don’t do best friends either😅😅 and I’m also finding it takes me longer to declare someone a friend than before.
      Thank you so much for passing by. I appreciate it. 🙂


  2. I was thinking about this last night…. About ghosting and how painful it is when “friends” suddenly cut you off. I had a friend in school who hasn’t texted me back in over a month. We had a minor disagreement/debate a while ago about hustle culture. But as to why people ghost… I’m still left wondering.

    A few years ago I lost the 2 closest friends I had and wrote break-up letters to them because I needed some closure. Neither of them replied. I didn’t like breaking up over texting alone. They were very rude towards me and ended up becoming toxic. Real friends aren’t toxic. If you are interested in reading both of the letters I wrote, I posted them on my blog in 2017. They are searchable. There’s a part 1 and a part 2! There’s also a poem under “pages” which I dedicated to one of them. I even mailed her the poem along with her letter. To this day it still hurts, so I stay off of social media. I don’t need the temptation of looking up people who I no longer associate with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m certainly going to check those out. I think I should also write a letter – even though they may never read it. It will be closure for me, write all the things and emotions I never got to say.
      One of the friendship breakups that messed my mind was also toxic. But I didn’t see most of that in the moment.
      Real friends ARE NOT toxic. That is true. And for a time I also thought I didn’t have my people but I believe that I’m falling in with the right ones, now that I know what to look for and stay away from.
      Can’t say much about the sudden cut off. But I’m learning people leave in their hearts and minds before they leave physically.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 .


      1. The blog posts are called Weeding Out Toxic Friends (and part 2) and the letters are included in these blog posts. I ended up printing them out on fancy printer paper and mailing them. Some say to burn your letters and never send them to the recipient, but I say do what’s best for you!

        Don’t expect them to return the favor though – neither of them responded to these letters. We can’t expect much from toxic, ex-friends anyways 🤷‍♀️To this day I’m still processing it all and take things day by day. My main focus now is personal growth and development. I have maybe one true friend? I don’t really have friends these days and that’s okay.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. A friendship break-up is without a doubt the worst break-up I have ever experienced.
    I just read Eunice’s letter and it is so relatable! Sometimes friendships serve their purpose and end even when we don’t want them to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too, Wonani, me too 😣 didn’t know a heart could break like that. And I would keep telling myself I shouldn’t be feeling like that… It was only a friend but 🤦🏿‍♀️
      I think that’s what I’m learning. Even though it’s not the intention, there are seasons even in relationships.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting :).


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