Welcome to December (even though you’ve been here for enough days already). A few more weeks and we call it a wrap on this year. We are outgrowing 2020, even though it is mostly inevitable. Days roll into months, then into years and we find ourselves in the next thing – willingly or unwillingly.
This is the my month for general reflection (no, I haven’t had enough of that this year yet) on the year, this one and the next. And I’ve been thinking about outgrowing spaces (like schools and classes), things (mostly clothes) and beliefs and habits and people and genres and trends and all other things we hang on to so desperately we end up choking the life out of them. And us. Especially us if the things we are holding onto are toxic.
It is totally OK to change your mind about certain things. Like I have – on pain and suffering, on love and relationships, on education and consent, on health and careers. It’s okay to change your mind where things that once felt comfortable are now restricting and stiff and mostly lifeless.
Not the fundamentals though. Never the fundamentals. People should be able to pick you out for something you wholly stand for and believe in.
But there is no point in being married to opinions even when more information comes to light. Trustworthy information, I should add. It’s uncomfortable, like walking around in shoes two sizes smaller (especially when you intend to make quite the journey in them) when you could save yourself a lot of pain by getting a pair that fits. Life is about change – the only true constant we’ve got – and adaptability.
Growing up, I had a pair of white sandals (yep, it’s a shoe story all post today). They were the prettiest shoes you ever saw, with their soft padding and pink butterflies all over. I didn’t ever imagine there was a time I would ever be without them. I took extra care of them, always made sure they were placed on the top tier of the shoe rack and wore them everywhere I was allowed to. When they couldn’t fit anymore, I thought I could keep them around because they were pretty to look at and I could always point them out as the prettiest pair of shoes. Have you ever been that attached to an object?
They weren’t doing much for me by just being there. Yet they would have done something for another child who fit that shoe size and could have appreciated them more.
Some of the things we hold onto don’t do much for us except take up room for what would help. It’s okay to outgrow something. It is a sign of growth and that’s a good thing.
I am not sure I remember what happened to my beloved pair of shoes. The image in my head seems to imply that I wore them hoarse, till the colour was faded and the straps stretched till they were loose. By the time I was done with them, they weren’t that pretty to look at. Somethings are meant to only play a part in the journey, take you from one point to the next, where you pick up the next and so on till you find those that will take the journey with you. It’s okay to let go and move on.
Have you ever held on to something you should have let go of? Are you still holding onto something you’ve outgrown? If you don’t mind sharing, I truly would like to know.
And I hope your December started off as merry as can be!