Outgrowing spaces

Welcome to December (even though you’ve been here for enough days already). A few more weeks and we call it a wrap on this year. We are outgrowing 2020, even though it is mostly inevitable. Days roll into months, then into years and we find ourselves in the next thing – willingly or unwillingly.

This is my month for general reflection (no, I haven’t had enough of that this year yet) on the year, this one and the next. And I’ve been thinking about outgrowing spaces (like schools and classes), things (mostly clothes) and beliefs and habits and people and genres and trends and all other things we hang on to so desperately we end up choking the life out of them…And us.

Especially us if the things we are holding onto are toxic.

It is totally OK to change your mind about certain things. Like I have – on pain and suffering, on love and relationships, on education and consent, on health and careers. It’s okay to change your mind where things that once felt comfortable are now restricting and stiff and mostly lifeless.

Not the fundamentals though. Never the fundamentals. People should be able to pick you out for something you wholly stand for and believe in.

But there is no point in being married to opinions even when more information comes to light. Trustworthy information, I should add. It’s uncomfortable, like walking around in shoes two sizes smaller (especially when you intend to make quite the journey in them) when you could save yourself a lot of pain by getting a pair that fits. Life is about change – the only true constant we’ve got – and adaptability.

All photos from Unsplash.

Growing up, I had a pair of white sandals (yep, it’s a shoe story all post today). They were the prettiest shoes you ever saw, with their soft padding and pink butterflies all over. I didn’t ever imagine there was a time I would ever be without them. I took extra care of them, always made sure they were placed on the top tier of the shoe rack and wore them everywhere I was allowed to. When they couldn’t fit anymore, I thought I could keep them around because they were pretty to look at and I could always point them out as the prettiest pair of shoes. Have you ever been that attached to an object?

They weren’t doing much for me by just being there. Yet they would have done something for another child who fit that shoe size and could have appreciated them more.

Some of the things we hold onto don’t do much for us except take up room for what would help. It’s okay to outgrow something. It is a sign of growth and that’s a good thing.

I am not sure I remember what happened to my beloved pair of shoes. The image in my head seems to imply that I wore them hoarse, till the colour was faded and the straps stretched till they were loose. By the time I was done with them, they weren’t that pretty to look at. Somethings are meant to only play a part in the journey, take you from one point to the next, where you pick up the next and so on till you find those that will take the journey with you. It’s okay to let go and move on.

Have you ever held on to something you should have let go of? Are you still holding onto something you’ve outgrown? If you don’t mind sharing, I truly would like to know.

And I hope your December started off as merry as can be!

14 thoughts on “Outgrowing spaces

  1. I learnt to forgive myself for making certain mistakes this year especially since I really wanted to recover from social media and other addictions in 2020. I relapsed quite often no jokes but I’m so glad it’s getting better now.

    2020 has taught me a lot about not having control, we’re human, “fallible” and more connected than we think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Forgiveness is key. I’ve found forgiving oneself is even harder than extending forgiveness to others. There are also things I wanted to recover from – had a lot to do with my esteem and relationships.
      2020 though has shaped my perspective on time.
      Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this blog! I too have outgrown things including relationships. For me 2020 has the year of reflecting, purging, and regrouping. As you said, it’s okay to change your mind and it’s okay to start over. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this post and a great read it was, we must all evolve and sometimes that takes growing out of places, spaces and people. I’ve been on a reflective one and been thinking about things I’ll let go of in the new year. This was just a reminder of how necessary it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Strange how possessions can become more than they actually are in our thoughts. I have two shelves of books that were collected from a particular time in my life and getting rid of them would be like closing a door. But they haven’t come off the shelves in three years so do I need to close that door? Im thinking yes but as said, it’s closing the door on a whole period in my life. What to do?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What to do indeed! I am always reluctant to throw books away, always sure that I will get back to them at a later moment in time. But it’s closing a door on a period of life – someone might have better use for them and that will create room to allow new books for this period of life. Just my thoughts.
      I know about attachment 😅 so take your time and do what feels right to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Love, love, love this. I am a hoarder and I still have receipts of things I purchased last year stashed in my handbags pockets. Even empty containers of creams and perfume oil, I just like keeping things as constant reminder of memories, or that is what I keep telling myself. I just have a hard time letting go of things even clothes.

    It is okay to let go of some things in my life, and they just stack up and form clutters. Even people too. I think it is okay to cut some people in my life who bring negativity and pain.

    I really love this post. 💪💪

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I also used to collect things, bags I no longer use but has loved and lovely empty boxes (I still keep some of those) but for where I’ve let things go it has definitely made room for better things to come in.
      It is totally okay to cut some people. I think that’s where I’ve been at, learning that they’ve played their part and we should move on.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting

      Liked by 1 person

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